Crackers Battalion

chronic case of verbal diarrhea

Miss Worded: I married a Nice Man, not a "Nice Guy."

missworded:

Nice Man - makes dinner because he’s an adult and the adults in the household do chores because food is necessary for not dying.

“Nice Guy” - makes dinner because he wants you to fuck him.

Nice Man - puts you in bed after you’ve had too much to drink because people who care about one another…

  • friend: someone told me you look like an owl
  • me: who?
  • the whole class bursts into a roaring flame of laughter. tears start to fall from their eyes from laughing so hard. the principal walks in the room and slaps his knee. the local animals come in and create waves of laughter. god is laughing so hard he cant breathe. jesus starts clapping his hands and cracking up. the laughter dies down after about 2 hours, and everybody goes home with the memory of the funniest joke they've ever heard.